Garth Brooks is Quitting Country Music: “I Don’t Fit In Anymore”

Garth Brooks is Quitting Country Music: “I Don’t Fit In Anymore”

Garth Brooks had one of the most successful careers in country music imaginable until he threw it all away. With one remark about his fans being “a-holes” while defending the woke beer Bud Light, Brooks lost it all.

Now, the former great says he’s quitting the country scene completely. “I don’t fit in anymore,” said Brooks, “Country just isn’t what it used to be.”

If by that he means that country isn’t some soundstage for woke ideologies by has-beens who can’t fill a Vegas night club, then he’s right. According to Travis Tritt, “He’s out of touch with his people.”

Willie Nelson said hello to his Aunt Jenny when we asked for his opinion, signaling that he is both very old and very stoned. He had nothing else to add. If George Strait has his way, however, Willie would have to cut off his patented braids. “He looks like a Disney Princess.”

With all of the in-fighting behind the scenes, it’s no wonder Garth has decided to check out. Imagine being the pariah in a group of people willing to give up their livelihoods to cover for Jason Aldean’s poor decisions. It has to be hell.

“The problem with country,” said Neve Campbell, “Is how little people actually care. If you listen to that noise, you have simple taste. If you participate, you have simple talent. If you think Garth Brooks is suddenly $400 million poorer because you believe everything you read on the internet, you’re an idiot.”

We’re not sure who asked Neve for her opinion. She looks great, though. God Bless America.