During the holidays, Clint Eastwood organized a party with a hidden mission: to recruit well-known personalities to work against the prevailing woke ideology in Hollywood.
Despite many showing interest, it was Sylvester Stallone and Denzel Washington who displayed the most enthusiasm, continuing with a more in-depth meeting in February.
Now, the trio is almost ready to announce that they are leaving the Screen Actors Guild to form a new union of “non-woke” actors who want to return movies to traditional values.
“We’re tired of mermaids with the wrong skin color and Snow White’s Seven ‘Mystical Creatures,'” said Joe Barron, the new guild’s spokesperson, a veteran spokesman. “It’s time we returned to the good old days of traditional values in movies. We want to ensure that future versions of The Terminator are not Native American just because it will make certain people happy.”
Barron’s sentiments don’t just include butter, either. There’s also an African American woman named Aunt Jemima who paid for woke with her very identity. Now that she’s gone from the bottle, generations of new Americans will never know the rich history of the greatest aunt to ever show up at Black Thanksgiving with mac and cheese.
It’s okay, patriots. I can add a thing about Black Thanksgiving because I have several black friends and they’ve all said if I was in their neighborhood I could go and see for myself. I just have to bring corn. With jalapenos. For some reason.
