“Roseanne Secures Full Control of “The Connors” Following Los Angeles Jury Decision”

“Roseanne Secures Full Control of “The Connors” Following Los Angeles Jury Decision”

A Los Angeles jury has granted Roseanne Barr a significant sum of $208 million and awarded her ownership of the show it deemed ABC had appropriated from her, “The Conners.” As per her manager, Art Tubolls, it seems she’s inclined to completely abandon the project.

“Roseanne is unequivocally against any ‘return from the dead’ storyline and has no interest in continuing the show in its current form. Her intention is to stick it to the ‘libs’ and pull the plug on it,” Tubolls stated.

The current cast of the show expressed surprise at the news. “We find solace in knowing she’s financially secure and able to move on contentedly,” commented John Goodman. “Additionally, we’re appreciative of the five seasons of steady income we received from ABC.”

Goodman added that, except for Sarah Gilbert, who plays the main character, and Laurie Metcalf, the rest of the cast is relieved to be relieved from what they perceive as pandering to ‘wokeness.’ “I can finally return to my passion: ballet,” remarked Lecy Gorensen. “Portraying a mundane character has been tedious.”

Irrespective of Barr’s next move, she emerges victorious. She has secured a substantial sum from the network, and her concepts won’t be exploited without her consent.

That’s the essence of the American way, patriots. God Bless America.